Competition is a big deal, especially between women. Whether it is in the work place, or at the beach, we are constantly looking at each other, and making judgments or comparisons.
It is still hard to be a women today even thought the women’s rights movement took place in 1848. We work the same jobs as men yet make less, in some cases when we are more qualified for the position than our male counterpart. So it is no real surprise that women are tearing each other down, especially in a work environment where there isn’t much room to advance.
When we look at the way that men and women compete men are more upfront about their competition. Women tend to use other methods… including but not limited to talking bad about each other and excluding possible competition.
What about those moments outside of work? What about when we are trying to make friends?
A few weeks ago I had an experience on a rafting trip that wasn’t the best. It reminded me of being that nerdy teen again. I felt awkward and completely out of place. I allowed someone else into my bubble and then proceeded to give them the sword to pop it. Being bullied by a woman and then allowing her comments to get to me.
The thing is, when we look at the science behind this we are both at fault.
The woman who is doing the attacking is doing so because she is feeling inadequate. Both hating on the woman, while wishing she were like her.
You see when women are in those situations and find themselves picking apart another woman because we see her as competition, we are actually buying into the idea that they are not as good as her. Truthfully they are simply lacking in not only the self-esteem that it takes to appreciate another person as they are being able to recognize that appreciating another’s beauty does not take away from her own, but also lacking the kindness to remember that the woman being hated on is just another girl trying to find her place in this world.
The woman being attacked is also at fault for allowing herself to Believe what the other woman is dishing out. You see taking to heart the meanness someone else is dishing up for you is undermining your own Amazing Qualities.
The Bully might be the instigator, but allowing ourself to become a victim is on You.
We have the ability to choose who we allow into our lives. We can choose what kind of people we keep around… whether that be beautiful, shining, supportive friends, or nasty people who are going to tear you down.
There are all kinds of reasons for our competition. Some of these have been described as physiological, and are a constant variable affecting us on a subconscious level. Another idea is based off of Darwin’s theory about intra-species competition (vying for the prized mate). I believe that we women have the ability to change the situation, and begin supporting other women. Choosing to be above the B.S.
There are two types of women. Those who bring each other up, and those who tear each other down.
One of my favorite things happened yesterday. Another beautiful queen showed signs of rising above in the competition war. And moments like that give me hope that we as women can band together and truly rise. Thanks to her for inspiring this blog post.